Riyad FarajParents Circle-Bereaved Families Forum |
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Personal Story and Palestinian Refugees and Prison:
“ I am a refugee of 1948. That year my family came to Deheishe Refugee Camp. That's where I grew up. My family was one of the most harmed by the conflict. It was our fate to resist the occupation in the period starting in 1978. I grew up to find my older brother in jail, and my other brother as well. I was arrested when I was 14. The first intifada started in 1984, and we spent that period in and out of jail. I don't recall a day between 1984 and 1990 in which we, the six brothers, were gathered in the same place. We are six brothers and a sister. We didn't all see each other between '84 and '90 outside of jail. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Personal Loss/Bereavement and Violence:
“ […During] the invasion of the Bethlehem church, no one was allowed outside their homes. My father, at age 56, went out to get some groceries. My brothers and I were playing cards at home. We had longed so much to be with each other. We have local TV stations, and I was facing the TV and I read my father's name on the screen--that he had been killed. We hadn't yet heard about it. I'm telling you this now but I still don't believe it. People had started calling us, and they were worried but didn't want to tell us. They wanted to check first to see if we knew about what had happened. We didn't have a clue as to why they were behaving like this until we read his name on TV. We went to identify his body but we couldn't--he had been shot by 36 bullets of the 500 type. His body was ripped apart. It was horrible. This was only six months after my brother's funeral. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ It's not that we decided not to take part in the second intifada, it's just that we figured that nothing good would come of it. We are the ones giving so much, while leaders like Sharon are sitting in their chairs. His son doesn't get on a bus so there's no way he could be harmed by suicide bombings, and Arafat's child is in France and she can't be hurt either, so it's just us that are paying the price. It's true that we might be more patriotic than they are, but as people we came to the conclusion that trying to engage in dialogue with the Israelis would do more good than bloodshed. Because everybody has had a share in the bloodshed: the prisoners and the martyred and the injured and crippled. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ I spent 36 months in the [prison in the] Negev and all I saw was sand. When a female soldier passed we thought she was an alien or something! Scorpions would mingle in our food. It was horrible what we saw there. They didn't confine us, they only made us think about the future of our children. I mean, I paid the price. So did my brother and father. So that was the motive -- there's no need for my child to have to pay the price as well. It's not about giving up but about forgiveness. It's about what's good for the future. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Occupation and Suicide Bombing:
“ We have Palestinians that are not sensible as well. I don't want to tell you that the occupation is the only reason, and I don't want to call a person who blows himself up a terrorist. There are reasons for why he does what he does. For example, he may go home to find his mother or his brother killed -- that is a motivation. Of course it's wrong and I don't support it, and in the end that is what caused the occupation. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Leadership/Empowerment and Civil Society:
“ We did not go there [to meet with Israelis in the Bereaved Families Forum] to compliment the Israelis or to complain to them. We went there so that their voice would be louder to their government--to let us have a good life, and to convey that it is our right to live. We also wanted to tell them that we are not here [at a seminar in a hotel in Jerusalem] to escape our stressful lives, but because we are looking for a better life for our children. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Personal Story and Violence:
“ Early on, while growing up, we saw people’s fathers or brothers beaten up. We were humiliated in our homes. There was no educational atmosphere and no means for living. All of that generated the desire within us to improve our condition. There was no method we could think of to improve our condition through dialogue; the only way was to fight. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Community Responses to Peace Work:
“ Not everyone will comprehend that I would sit with an Israeli, tell him about my problem and listen to his. No one expects that I would have a relationship with an Israeli. They would consider it humiliating for me to tell an Israeli about how my father and brother died, and how my son is not living a good life, while the Israeli is. In our society you won't find a lot of people that can understand--you will find a lot of extremists. That's why we will face a problem here with starting the [Bereaved Families] Forum. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ I didn't have expectations because I didn't understand what was going on. I mean, it was a complete turn around for me -- a major leap. I may have once hated everything that was called "Jew;" I hate Zionism, but I respect anyone who acknowledges my right to my homeland, anyone who respects my opinion and anyone who thinks about my future as well as his. This is a reality that was imposed on us. We didn't choose it, so we may as well try to live with it and get used to it, or else go our separate ways. So we need to figure out a way to coexist. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ My wife is 27 years old. It's been 10 years since she's seen the sea. We can't even go see the sea, can you imagine? My children have never seen it. They only see it on TV, but they don't know what it is. Can you imagine not even having this dream? This is why when I talk with the guys and give them hope and ambition, there will be something to aim for--if not for them, then for their children. So when They're convinced, they will pass it along to the next generation, and so on. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Prison and Nonviolence:
“ I fought and was in jail for 6 years and 10 months. I got nothing. Just the opposite -- I lost my dream. I lost my brother and my father and didn't get anything. Another person will lose his brother and parents and will get nothing. Some have lost their children. So I started thinking of a way other than resistance. I started thinking of a way to convince my enemy to believe in my rights. If I keep thinking with the logic of resistance, there will be no one left to resist. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ I don't want anybody else to get hurt. I have a nephew who's wanted by Israel. He has a friend who was exiled to Gaza, another who was martyred -- actually two. One was exiled to Italy and one imprisoned. That was a group of friends. To this day the soldiers come looking for my nephew. I am very happy that I was able to change some of his ideas. I convinced my nephew that it wasn't doing any good for him to keep shooting at the soldiers, and to be hunted all the time. There's no way to bring back your dead friend, no way to bring your exiled friend back from Italy, no way your imprisoned friend will get out until he has finished his time, no way to bring back your friend in Gaza. I asked him questions like: How can you find ways to limit this violence? ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Education and Nonviolence:
“ This idea needs to be taught to a mature person, one that is effective in his community. The student has the most significant role in our society. This is the most important sector of society and they need to know more about nonviolence. I think if we succeed in spreading our ideas in schools, it's as good as liberating Palestine. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Community Responses to Peace Work:
“ It's rare and dangerous [to be involved in this kind of work with Israelis]. Socially, one would be afraid to lose all one's relations, relatives, community, friends. I mean, people over here used to swear with my life. I was interrogated for 80 days but I didn't breath a word, so everybody knows me as a respectful man. The only thing that changed is that I used to think with my muscles, and now I think with my brain. I need to protect myself, not by shooting at anyone who invades my house, but by being respectful and making him not hurt me. So I started thinking about the Israelis on the other side. I mean, if I go to road number 60 and shoot at an Israeli there, that Israeli is neither the one who killed my brother nor the one who took my land. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ Those who militarized this intifada are the bad ones. It wasn't right to militarize the intifada, meaning the involvement of weapons. Had it stayed a civil uprising, we would have had the public opinion on our side, but now we have lost everything. Now we are perceived as terrorists and criminals when we used to be the righteous. Now we have lost everything. No one can stand to hear about a Palestinian. We used to be respected anywhere we went because we used to ask for our rights in legal ways--we used to protest or throw stones at tanks, but now we are shooting and bombing and killing. The responsibility lies with all of us. No one can stand to live in such circumstances without doing something about it. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Personal Loss/Bereavement and Israeli/Palestinian Power Dynamics:
“ It was the first time in my life that I met, sat with and listened to an Israeli that was suffering like me. I used to hear on the news or from friends who worked for Israelis about how Israelis had lost a son or family member. This was the first time I experienced seeing an Israeli emotionally touched by knowing that I had lost someone and so had he, and he was willing to sit with a Palestinian who felt the same way. At the same time, he is the cause of what happened to me, but I wasn't the cause of what had happened to him. I mean, I didn't take his land; he took mine. For example, the Israeli Roni that came to the Forum has lost his two sons. That's not because of me, but he is the reason I lost my father and brother. [As an Israeli] he was imposed on me. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
Separation Barrier and Settlements and Self Determination:
“ Today if you watch the news or the political situation that we live in, you will find that even the extreme Palestinian parties like the Jihad and Hamas are asking for the lands of '67. It's the Israelis who don't want to give it to us. There's no way that a state will be established in the lands of '67, even though that is what we are asking for now. I mean, there's a settlement one kilometer away from me and there's no way that the Israelis will remove it. It's taking up more than half of Bethlehem's area. The wall that they are building has taken in more land than the lands of '67! So how much is left of the lands of '67? ” [Source in Complete Interview]
“ We are not asking for the right of return, the one negotiating the right of return is not a refugee himself. No refugee is speaking for himself because I'm sure that if there was a survey among the refugees, then I guarantee 100% would accept compensation and get to a solution with the lands of '67 and stop asking for the lands of '48, all for the sake of having a good life. ” [Source in Complete Interview]
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